Palin walks into a bar ...

"They're selling Sarah Palin action figures online. I don't know where they get the outfits for these, but she looks like the sluttiest librarian of all time. Sad incident at Toys 'R' Us today -- a Sarah Palin doll shot My Little Pony." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Because of Sarah Palin, people are now asking the question: Is she ready to be president? If, God forbid, something happens to John McCain, is Sarah Palin ready to be president? I don't think we need to worry about that, because Bush has lowered the bar so tremendously." --David Letterman

"I kind of like that Sarah Palin. You know, she reminds me, she looks like the flight attendant who won't give you a second can of Pepsi. No, you've had enough. We're landing. Looks like the waitress at the coffee shop who draws a little smiley face on your check. Have a nice day." --David Letterman (Read more of Letterman's jabs at Palin)

"Of course, now everyone's digging into Sarah Palin's past. There's an old picture of Sarah Palin circulating on the internet right now, and she's wearing a t-shirt that says, 'I may be broke, but I'm not flat-busted.' Yeah, John McCain was upset when he heard this and asked, 'What's the internet?'" --Conan O'Brien